Leftovers, Anyone?

I’m reheating the gravy and tossing some fresh bread slices into the jar of stale cookies.

After the recent completion of my temporary job assisting brokers in the commercial real estate industry, I am back to where I started when I first posted on this blog. Sure, things have changed. I’m a little older, I have more “professional experience” and I’ve learned a few things about the real world after college.

But, despite these changes (for better or worse), I still feel relatively the same. I’m still a human being, still living in my parents’ house, and still looking for a position doing something I love. So all in all, I’m still Rob Johnson.

And Rob Johnson loves football. That may not be extremely apparent upon first glance or even after diving into my past, so for your amusement, here is my red zone resume.

1990- My Mom and I shared the same OB with Joe Montana’s wife and his son, Nate.

1992- Jerry Rice smiled at me while I was being pushed in my stroller in the Hillsdale shopping mall in San Mateo, California.

2000-2005- Played pick-up football games against kids two years older than me at the big rock park on Royce Road.

2002- Weighed in at 104.3 pounds, narrowly missing the 103.9 cutoff for the lightweight division football league at Madison Junior High. Consequently, I spent the entire season getting knocked around as a third-string Tight End in middleweight.

2003- Weighed 124.4 pounds, just making it under the heavyweight cutoff. I competed in a fierce battle for the starting QB position for middleweight, but lost when it was revealed I could not throw a spiral over 20 yards. I then spent the season getting knocked around as the second-string Tight End (Improvement!).

2004- Told by many parents with kids on the high school football team, I had great hands, I debated trying out for the NCHS football team. I then proceeded to join the marching band instead.

2007- Freedom League Fantasy Champion

2008- 2nd Place Freedom Fantasy League

2008- Spoke with the coach of Wittenberg University about playing Wide Receiver during a college visit. When he asked me about my 40-time, lifting abilities and high-school football experience, I responded, “I didn’t play in high-school” and then promptly left the meeting.

2010- Freedom League Fantasy Champion

2011- 2nd Place Freedom Fantasy League

2011- Worked for the CBS affiliate in Cincinnati as a production assistant on the set of Bengals Nation, where I deterred fans from getting more than one piece of memorabilia signed by the player being interviewed. Side note: I met Mike Nugent. What a great guy.

2012- Co-hosted “The Bye”, a fantasy football radio show, at Miami University.

2013- Spent way too much free time preparing for Fantasy Football drafts/ discovered something I love to do.

Now that you are properly acquainted with my pigskin past, let me talk about my fantasy future.

While working (or not working) at my most recent job, I realized I needed something to take my mind off the stresses of the office. So, during lunch breaks and downtime, I would research players and news for the upcoming season to better prepare myself for the Freedom Fantasy League you see sprinkled throughout my resume.

Well, breaks turned into after-hours and practice turned into more of a hobby. This also resulted in a 500 kb Excel spreadsheet, which sorted players by stats, showed rankings from all over the web, and even had a nifty draft feature, which allows you to enter players as they are drafted while the spreadsheet sorts them by team and eliminates them from an available player bank.

Now I know for most guys who play fantasy football, your team is your pride and joy. You carefully (or drunkenly) selected your players in an effort to be crowned champion among your closest friends, and hold your title over their heads for the entire offseason. 

In essence, your team is like your baby. If you already have a baby, then for the love of God, pay attention to that one first. Your fantasy team may cry for attention, but it will not die due to lack of inattentiveness. Also, guess which baby your wife cares about more? Yeah. Don’t mess that up. Ever.

Anyway, your team baby requires nurturing, loving and attention to the waiver wire. Like most parents will say, knowing how to make your baby survive and thrive is good. Knowing how to make and keep your baby healthy is good. Knowing how to make your baby beat all the other babies is the best. That’s where I come in.

I’m like a Doctor/Babysitter/Trainer for your baby. Not your human baby. That is just a clarification I should make for legal purposes (I will not be able to diagnose your flesh baby, nor do I recommend physically training your baby at such a young age).

I also know, trust is a big issue when it comes to someone looking after your baby. You wouldn’t just give your flesh baby to a man on the internet, would you? Many of you may know me, a few of you may trust me. I’m hoping to change the trust part.

Take a look into my crib, here is my baby (Bold denotes starters):

QB- Matt Stafford

RB- Alfred Morris, Stevan Ridley, Reggie Bush, Lamar Miller, Mark Ingram, Bernard Pierce

WR- Reggie Wayne, Wes Welker, Kenbrell Thompkins, Ty Hilton, Golden Tate

TE- Zach Sudfeld, Rob Housler

K- Phil Dawson

DEF- Broncos

Yahoo! draft report card gave me a C+ for my draft. I beg to differ. This baby will be swaddled in glorious threads of victory come late December. 

But, seriously. I love fantasy football. I could talk about it all day, however I don’t always have the circumstances or channels to do that, so I will use this blog as an outlet to share with you, my knowledge, insights and reactions during the 2013 NFL season.

I will conclude this re-introductory post with my schedule for the rest of the season. 

Tuesday: QB Fantasy Rankings

Wednesday: RB Fantasy Rankings

Thursday: WR Fantasy Rankings

Friday: TE Fantasy Rankings

Saturday: DEF and K Fantasy Rankings

Sometime next week: I will set up a twitter account for Fantasy Football news and answering roster questions.

Every Wednesday after the NFL season starts: A new blog post regarding the week’s events and suggestions for who to add and drop.

The gravy is hot. The cookies are fresh. Come and get it.


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