D- Picket Fence

Happy first College Gameday everyone!

If you are like me, you are profusely sweating on your couch in the dark while wearing a hoodie and pajama pants, suffering from chills, aches and a 100.8 fever watching four hours of college pre-game coverage and hastily singing “All the Small Things” in the absence of your parents.

Oh, that’s just me. Fair enough.

Anyway, today signifies the last day in my marathon blog post rankings. Thank God its only Kickers and Defenses today. LOL. You still need those, but please resist the urge to draft them before the final rounds of your draft.

I almost fell out of my seat laughing the other night when one of my friends selected the Chicago Bears defense in the 6th round. If you enjoy being mocked and ridiculed behind computer screens, feel free to participate in this strategy.

Don’t get me wrong, defenses are an important part of your team, and can make or break a season, but for the most part, they are vastly over-drafted. It’s acceptable to grab a top defense before the last two rounds, but definitely don’t waste a pick before the tenth round.

The problem with snagging a defense in an earlier round is that expectations don’t always match the final results. San Francisco is ranked 1st or 2nd this year in the rankings despite finishing 7th last year, while the Chargers who are largely undrafted, finished 6th. Tricky tricky.

Alright. Here we go. Time to rank defenses!

Defense Rankings:

1. Seattle Seahawks- Big plays, stellar d and the toughest environment for away teams in all of football, will lead to turnovers and TDs galore.

2. Chicago Bears- White thunder is gone, but the Bears D should still bring in the big points.

3. Denver Broncos- Elvis Dumervil is gone because the Broncos front office can’t operate a fax machine.  Von Miller is suspended for 6 games. Despite these losses, the Broncos D should still be tops. Count on some special teams TDs of Holliday. 

4. San Francisco 49ers- They won’t let up a lot of points, but they lack the big plays on defense that accumulate the big points. 

5. Houston Texans- JJ Watt is a rhino with gorilla arms in football gear. Lots of sacks for JJ. 

6. New England Patriots- Oh no, they cut Tim Tebow! Oh well.

7. Arizona Cardinals- Patrick Peterson and Honey Badger are going to combine for like a thousand INTs and a couple TDs.

8. St. Louis Rams- Does it say something that there are four NFC west teams in the top ten? Don’t sleep on the Rams D this year.

9. Cincinnati Bengals- Rey Maualuga is a douche, but the Bengals play in an offensively challenged AFC North, so there’s always an opportunity for big points. 

10. Baltimore Ravens- HOW ARE THE RAVENS EVER GOING TO BE THE SAME WITHOUT MURDERIN’ RAY LEWIS BRINGING GOD AND NON-SENSE SENTENCES TO THE DEFENSIVE HUDDLE? Trust me, they’ll be okay.

11. Cleveland Browns- Good run D and Joe Hayden is one of the best corners in the league. GO BROWNIES!

12. Green Bay Packers- As long as they aren’t playing Colin Kaepernick, they are a pretty good D to own.

13. Pittsburgh Steelers- Does Troy Polamulu even play anymore, or is he just exclusively a spokesperson for Head and Shoulders now? Age is beginning to show in the Steelers D, but they should still have enough gas in the tank for another solid season. 

14. San Diego Chargers- I guess they’re kind of okay. 

15. Miami Dolphins- Surprisingly, they have one of the best run defenses in the game and they picked up Brent Grimes (previously of the Falcons D, kept Ruxin’s team winning with his 5 INTs) which should quash opposing passing attacks.

16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- The addition of Revis will be huge as long as he can stay healthy. If the Bucs can play consistent ball, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them take the division or at least snag a wild card spot.

 In 20 Seconds: Kickers!

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